Kate McCann & Guilt

Kate McCann has revealed in her book ‘Madeleine’, that she was so ‘weighed down by guilt’ that she found it difficult to allow herself any pleasure in life. In describing the aftermath of every parent’s nightmare she expressed the sense of it feeling totally inappropriate to allow herself enjoyment when her daughter could be suffering – a situation haunted by a sense of guilt over the circumstances of her daughter’s disappearance.

The McCann’s case is truly horrific and most honest parents will feel a sense of vulnerability in having contemplated it. There are few parents who haven’t left their children unattended in a ‘safe place’ for even a few minutes – but of course it only takes a few minutes... and therein lies the torture when things go wrong. It would be a proud and callous heart that ‘threw the first stone’ at the McCanns.

What struck me though was the effect of ‘guilt’ – the sense of responsibility, regret and shame that changes a person’s whole perspective on life. The intensity of self-disapproval that makes any right to personal enjoyment seem wrong and illegitimate. A sense, ultimately, of injustice – that’s it not fair for others to be deprived of benefits, as a consequence of my actions, and for me to enjoy any such things.

For some such guilt is overcome through self-justification and hardness of heart. But for others, especially in cases where the faults or outcomes have been catastrophic, the guilt can become all consuming infecting every aspect of life. Even when some form of amends is possible – replacement of goods, apologies, compensation – the core effects of distress, lost time, anger, fear, pain – can never be undone or unfelt – the clock truly can’t be turned back.

It is why guilt is so powerful and debilitating – often humanly impossible to resolve. And it is why the Cross stands at the centre of the meeting humanity’s deepest need – forgiveness. Because at the Cross, in his humanity, Jesus took upon himself all our guilt – he plumbed the depths of all the unrequited pain and loss that sin has left in its wake. By exhausting the injustice, in himself, through being the bearer of the wrath & indignation justice demands - he is able to close the holes and chasms ripped open in our souls by guilt (Is 53:4-5). In Christ, through His death, we can be free from guilt because in Jesus there is healing and reconciliation at the deepest levels of the cosmos itself (Col 1:20). The debt and consequences of our actions are not left outstanding but have been dealt with, paid in full, once and forever (Heb 10:19-22).

None of this is to be simplistic or trite regarding the feelings we might have over our failings and sins. Sorrow over fallen acts is not inappropriate – they are part of the right responses and inevitable frustrations of living as fallen people in a fallen world (2 Cor 7:10; Rom 8:20-23). But the knowledge that in Jesus restoration and resolution has been made possible allows us to see light even in dark places. It is the hope that even our worst experiences will one day be settled for good in God’s Kingdom.

Pray that Kate McCann will know that hope in her life.