Be Gentle

So I say live by the Spirit… the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (Gal 5:16,22-23)

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Col 3:12)

...but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children (1 Th 2:7)

‘Gentleness’ – it’s hardly rock n’ roll, cutting edge or in fashion. Our culture generally regards it as something to associate with kittens, soppy aunts and luxury toilet paper. The esteemed characteristics of our age – the ones perceived to have ‘real value’ – are efficiency, dynamism, single-mindedness, and being an achiever. Alan Sugar, Simon Cowell & Duncan Bannatyne (none of whom immediately conjures up a picture of gentleness) are among the new high priests of this ‘no nonsense, straight talking, not suffering fools, goal driven’ approach to life. An approach that esteems measurable results over what it sees as vague sentiment. Now, of course, in the workplace tough decisions have to be taken and none of this is to say that the above characteristics don’t have value in certain contexts.

The danger is, however, that these values and role models could lead us to develop a certain hardness and insensitivity in our dealings with others. A mindset of being ‘results’ orientated, needing to maximise efficiency (e.g. maximum output for lowest cost) and penalising ‘failure’ can all too easily seep into church-life. Inevitably one of the first casualties when we go down those kind of roads will be ‘gentleness’. We will become desensitised to the individual lives of our Christian brothers and sisters and instead start to assess them just as parts of a 'church machine' or components in a strategy.

One of the outcomes in the history of ecomonic thinking was the development of the idea of ‘human capital’. This meant that people became categorised in the same way as machinery and fields – as assets or components in the profit making exercise. But in a godly world-view people can never just be seen as components in an enterprise. Thus however much such a view of people might prevade the economic world we need to see people through Christ-like eyes – that is, as infinitely valuable souls made in the image of God.

So as un-macho or inefficient as it might appear to our society we need to put being gentle back at the forefront of how we engage with people. Gentleness is a Christ-like characteristic – it means being sensitive to the feelings of others – some fruits bruise very easily, that’s why we handle them gently. It means taking time to listen and not assume we know ‘their problem’ or that our assessment is the best one. It means keeping things in proportion - e.g. the irony that you can expect to be shown grace if you commit some great moral sin but have strips taken off you if you make a mistake with the PowerPoint!* It means speaking to others, whoever they are, with respect and consideration.

Being gentle is not weakness – it is a way in which we give power away and we can only do that from a position of strength – the strength that comes from being secure in Christ and having a confidence about God’s love for us. The off-hand and the bully have the real weakness of needing to feel superior over others in order to have any sense of self-worth.

In a fractured and individualistic world being gentle with others (starting in the church) will be a radical and counter-cultural witness to the power of Christ in our lives.

* Obviously it’s right that we show grace for sins – it’s the contrast – you know what I mean.